someone owes me an orgasm
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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