so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
