So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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