I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Randomize
