is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize