sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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