We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
