Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
