the new term for farting is butt boxing.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic