I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.