MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Is it because I queefed?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
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He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
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I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
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