He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
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