the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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