uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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