are you so shy because you have an std?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
