The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
