I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
