there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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