I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
this just has baby written all over it
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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