Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
