It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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