I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
