shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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