I must be too annoying 4 u.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Randomize
