I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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