On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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