You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
