I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
