When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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