i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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