He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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