you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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