Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
