I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Randomize
