She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
