you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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