dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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