Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
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Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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