he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You are a genius and a whore.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
