Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
