i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
