the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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