Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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