3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
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