I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
MIDGETS
????
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Randomize
