after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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