I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
