he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He called his prostate his "boner button".
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
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