Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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