i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
