Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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