I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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