yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
this just has baby written all over it
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
