I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize