If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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