Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize