marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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