also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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