is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
