and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
