He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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