I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
