i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
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